I know something of this feeling. I can already see that I've become much more successful as a woman than I ever was when I was being ostensibly-male. Does that mean I "failed as a man," though? Not necessarily. It means I wasn't in the optimum position for success in the first place, by being the wrong gender. And a lot of what "he" did laid the groundwork for who I am now.

I hope your own journey will be fruitful.